I want to know what Christian men have to say about their sense of "brotherhood" with other Christian men.
After being a Christian for almost two decades, I can honestly say that the friendships I had with other Christian men always had a hollowness about them. It was if we all had ourselves pumped up to believe that, as men, we were supposed to be kind and gentle and longsuffering in dealing with our wives and the evil in the world. Yet, at the same time, there seemed to be an unspoken guilt that we had to play this passive, prayer warrior role instead of engaging in an active role in bringing godliness to our family and world.
I am not the only one to notice that the ties binding Christian men together seem to be fairly weak. Susan Faludi, in her book Stiffed, covers how men in America feel like they are getting a raw deal from their culture . In one chapter it looks at how men were drawn to the "Christian male warrior" appeal of the Promise Keeper movement, only to find after several years of zealous participation that very little had changed in their families or their country. In fact, the only thing they were left with was a support group of men they could meet with which to vent their frustrations and pray. Faludi tells the story of how most of these support groups die a slow agonizing death as their members slowly realize how unfulfilling the group's brotherhood really is.
My theory is that men only fulfill their roles as men when they are true "men of action". It seems to me that Islam calls us to be men of action as it gives us clear guidance and direction, and true leadership, in our homes and in our community.
Christianity calls upon us to, in reality, be passive praying men of peace. While our wives put their foot down about something, we quietly try to calm them down. We submit ourselves to just praying for our families. When our daughters are dating in junior high and we, as fathers, think this is not the picture of holiness that we had envisioned for our daughters, all we can do is voice our complaints and pray. Somehow, we believe that if we devote ourselves to enough prayer and push all the right leadership buttons in our family, then our wives will submit to our guidance for the family.
In my humble view, this is what shames Christian men. We have all been told in our churches by our pastors and in our homes by our wives to "back our ears" (to learn to live with these things as if they were some form of persecution to be patiently endured) in response to the evil in the world.
Does this resonate with any Christian men out there? Do you secretly agree that the sense of brotherhood you feel for other Christian men is pretty weak or would you disagree and say that you have a very strong, personal bond with the Christian men around you?
OR would you argue that such a feeling of brotherhood is not appropriate for men who love their Lord Jesus first?
Eager for honest responses,
Peace2God's People