"Dear God, this is the first, and last, time I’ve prayed to you.
I have only one request for you. It’s not for world peace, I think you’ve shown your policies on that one. Or for helping the poor and abused, you clearly have no interest there. This prayer is for you to do the one thing that you are good at and enjoy.
There’s a bunch of people I want you to send to hell. I know how much you enjoy inflicting eternal suffering on people who were unlucky enough to be stillborn or to die before baptism, for those who lived out of reach of your message, to those you created knowing they would never accept it, to those who commit suicide unable to face this foul world you’ve created and to those unlucky enough not to be buried on consecrated soil.
Yet to these, obviously evil people, I want you to add another category of people who I realise have sucked up to you throughout history. This world seems to suggest that the one redeeming human quality you posssess is a certain sense of dramatic irony and so I appeal to this.
Please send all those who take delight in threatening others with eternal torture to hell. All those who imagine themselves in heaven gloating at the less fortunate. Those who believe this is just, or find you commendible for this policy.
In the name of irony I ask this small favour of you.
Amen."
Yours,
Michael -