burwelm,
I found your poem to be interesting and full of feeling. It also raised some questions in my mind.
I found one line to be particularly telling, if I am properly understanding you, it is this line: “Give me a reason to die.” What are you trying to say there? To me that line seems paradoxical to the remainder.
I like the poem and what you seem to be saying, so please do not misunderstand what I am now going to say; I am not trying to be critical or negative. But perhaps a proper understanding of this misunderstanding will help you to overcome your negative feelings (frustrated, jaded, wishing to die). What misunderstanding? This one: “But the love is betraying itself”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8, “Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, 5 does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. 6 It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails. . . .” And 1 John 4:8, “. . .God is love.”
That means that love cannot betray itself. Oh yes I definitely agree with you that there is a betrayal in what you describe but it definitely is not “love . . . betraying itself,” wouldn’t you now agree? The “going on’s” are a betrayal of the God of love. What is going on is an ignoring of God’s instructions to his true worshippers of our time that are contained in these prophecies that apply to our day:
Isaiah 2:2-4, LITV: “And it shall be in the last days, the mountain of the house of Jehovah shall be established in the top of the mountains, and shall be exalted above the hills; and all nations shall flow into it. (3) And many people shall go and say, Come and let us go up to the mount of Jehovah, to the house of the God of Jacob. And He will teach from His ways, and we will walk in His paths. For out of Zion the Law will go forth, and the Word of Jehovah from Jerusalem. (4) And He shall judge among the nations and shall rebuke many people. And they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation shall not lift up sword against nation, nor shall they learn war any more.”
Micah 4:1-5, LITV: “But it shall be in the end of the days, the mountain of the house of Jehovah shall be established on the top of the mountains; and it shall be lifted up from the hills; and peoples shall flow on it. (2) And many nations shall come and say, Come, and let us go up to the mountain of Jehovah, and to the house of the God of Jacob. And He will teach us from His ways, and we will walk in His paths. For the Law shall go forth out of Zion, and the Word of Jehovah from Jerusalem. (3) And He shall judge between many peoples, and will decide for strong nations afar off. And they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation shall not lift up a sword against nation, nor shall they learn war still. (4) But they shall each one sit under his vine and under his fig tree, and there shall be no trembling. For the mouth of Jehovah of Hosts has spoken. (5) For all the peoples walk, each one in the name of his god; but we will walk in the name of Jehovah our God forever and ever.”
burwelm, if your religion is teaching that it is OK to engage in carnal warfare it is betraying the God of love and of the Bible and also betraying His son, the Prince of Peace. Obviously that betrayal is bothering you, is the God of love trying to tell you something? Will you listen?
.