When I got home from volunteering at WESTCAP yesterday the Oprah program was just starting so I watched it. Personally I think Oprah had an agenda and did not discuss all the reasons a gay man would get married. I have read some accounts of married men who are gay and living in a heterosexual marriage because they love their wives and wanted children. Some of these men have never violated their marriage vows and are at peace with their decision.
I also know gay men who got married because, like one man shared on Oprah he thought that would “cure” them, only to discover marriage is not a cure for homosexuality. I agree that any man who has sexual attractions to other men should think twice before getting involved in a heterosexual marriage. The resulting trauma for the wife and children can be devastating. On the other hand Bishop Robinson’s and Dr. Mel White’s stories are totally different. Their marriages seemed to end without a lot of trauma involved for their wives and children.
However, is this any different than ancient Sparta? Spartan citizens were raised in a totally male environment from age 7 to the time they retired from the military at age 60 but were also required to marry and father children when they were 30. The marriages were arranged and the couple did not live together. So I guess the comparison is not really valid. But then there was Athens and Rome where having a male lover was not that unusual. Cato wrote of Julius Caesar that he “was every woman’s husband and every man’s wife”. A man from Mexico told me that it is not unusual for a macho Mexican male to be married and have both a female and male lover. BTW, he was married with children and had a male lover. However if you labeled these men gay you would have had a fight on your hands. When I lived in Houston and before I left gay life married men who visited the gay bars while in town for conventions propositioned me. I also had gay friends who went to gay bars for socialization but cruised straight bars to pick up straight men.
I know men and women who have gone both ways that is from gay to straight and from straight to gay. However, unlike you I don't question their change in sexual orientation. I was never sexually attracted to women until long after I reached 40.
BTW, 1000 men in 15 years is one man every 5.48 days or 5.5 men every month. I get a bit anal where numbers are concerned but then I made my living as an accountant.