For some one else with Dyxlia and ADHD, I have a hard time following all your questions. I will try to answer some of your questions agian even though some have already tried and with scripture to-boot.
I hope my spelling wont get me in trobble though.
To me life is a gift. Each one of me childern was a special little gift from God as I'm sure you felt your childern were a gift to. I know many people in my Church who would love to have childern and can't, it make me sad to think of that. So life has to be a gift, Besides if we are not born how do we get our chance to get to Heaven to be with our Creator.
Second the reason Christian want to go be with Jesus, it is being in Heaven the perfect place, No more sorrow, pain, only joy, happiness. Who wouldn't want to be there. But I hope you get more from us than just that, we are also here on the Great Commision, To bring more people to Christ, so hopfully they might know have the hope of meeting Jesus. You might say It is our reward (an underserved one) and we are looking forward to it.
Do I fear death, I hope that from my writing you can tell,God has it all under control, my only hope is that I can accomplish all that God wants me to before that time comes, I will I'm sure, He has a tendence to let that happen.
Getting to Heaven is not all there is to it, I hope this isn't to long winded.
You like you abilty to make disision, right?
Well, God wanted to make a companion, a people that would think and act for themselves. Now if he just made us love Him you wouldn't have much of a choice would you? and you wouldn't like that. So he gave us a mind of our own and a will that we could choose to love Him and live in Pardise or we could follow Satan and go to the pit of Hell. He is giving us the choice, so we have to be born to be able to make that choice don't we?
My meaning of life, I'm here to make a decision, live for Christ and be like Him, serve others, teach, and what ever God ask of me.
I hope you are here for somthing special to.
Life is filled with the good, the bad, and the ugly, it's how we deal with it that makes the differance, I choose to lean not to my own understanding, and let God take the reins.