I don't know if anybody remembers me, I first came to this board in October of 2004 as Vsteven509. I asked a question around that time, have I commited blasphemy against the holy spirt? Omega said that the very fact i'm worried about that is a sign that I have not lost the holy spirit.
It's been two years since then and looking back, I had it for sure, however, though I was pretty much going FULL ON with my new found faith, I eventualy returned to my normal ways, and ever since, feel dry. What I mean by dry is it's harder to have faith, I feel like i'm simply 'done' and I had my chance, I feel like I may in some way have blasphemied against the spirit (somehow) and now the river of water has been cut off from my heart. I also feel like my own chance at becoming pure in heart is to go full on and take on every sin at one time, forcing myself strictly to never sin, for the rest of my life.
I come here in hopes that someone who has the holy spirit but not whatever is telling me I don't might be able to convince me that I still have a chance in salvation, cause I feel as if I will never be given a chance again, I don't know what to do.
- Steve