Preaching number 1, Relations
/me goes in preaching mode
Relations, and how they usually get stuck or break up.
It is in human nature to wish to change things so that
they will fit to what they want. It is something we
cannot help happening it is in our nature.
And in relations, one of the partners is always
dominant, it be the one, or it be the other. But when
people stay together for a long time, and really
see eachother a lot, they become very familiar with
eachother, and they will discover parts of the other
partner they don't like. And usually the dominant
partner will try to change the other partner to their
wishes.So that the other partner will be torn loose
from a part of themselves.
This couses a breach between the two partners,
beacouse the other partner will feel attacked, even if
the change is for good, becouse a part of the
partner is ripped away against their wishes, the've
been changed unwantedly, and usually they start to
close up, not revealing to much to the dominant
partner so that the dominant partner will not see
anything he/she doesn't like. The nondominant partner
will try to show only parts or fake parts he/she
thinks the dominant partner wishes to see. And keep
the relation going like that.
But, this couses a feeling of uneasyness over the
years/months/weeks. And both partners will grow apart,
becouse they are not sharing anymore,
and keep building that distance bigger and bigger so
that both partners at a certain moment don't know
anything anymore of eachother, except the
predictable actions they've learned themselves over
the years. Usually this is where a breaking point in
the relation comes and three
options are left:
1. Revelation, and they make up their errors and start
afresh(rarely happens)
2. Breakup, they break up their relation and go their
own way
3. Continuing as they are, not changing a bit, and
they grow cranky over the years
Whenever this happens in a relation, they should spot
it in the early stage and talk about it and settle
things then... once they get in to deep the gap
will grow and the will to talk about it grows smaller
and smaller beacouse they have the feeling that they
can't bridge the gap.
They should both seek God's council in this matter,
pray for eachother, and pray for a solution of their
problem. God will then couse for a change in
their relation. Maybe it wasn't ment to be for these
two persons to be together and God will break them up
and provide other partners, or He
will make them fit for eachother.
But this all wouldn't have to happen if both partners
would let the other partner to be free, that they
accept the other partner as he/she is,
and allow them to grow induvidually, and not try to
suppress the other partner.Beacouse, they got partners
beacouse they liked the person as he/she was and
is, not of what they want that person to become. Too
often partners forget that, in the beginning of the
relationship they say, I like you for who
you are, but, as the relationship grows, they forget
that, don't try to explore
the other partner anymore, but start focussing on the
points they don't like in the other partner, and then
arguments and changes happen in the relationship.
They should be focussing on the new things that happen
in the other partner.
Becouse God is a changing God, he continuesly changes
the old for new, a neverending process, and the
partner you knew yesterday was different then
the partner you know today. Each day a person in
changed by something. Partners should be exploring
eachother intimately each passing day over
and over again, instead of clinging on to what they
already know and settle with that, beacouse when that
happens a relation comes to a halt. They stop
talking to eachother that much about deep things that
touch their harts, they stop talking about what is
moving them, they stop talking about situations and in
the end they only talk about superficial things. They
become afraid of telling eachother things, beacouse
they don't know anymore how the other partner might
react, so they keep discussions on safe
levels, but when fights occur(like that happens in
every relationship every once in a while) they will
keep a lot bottled up becouse they are afraid of
the the other partner might do.
These people need a wakeup call and start talking to
eachother again, and seek the aid of God in those
talks. They need to come close to God and then
close to their partners.Beacouse if any of the two
situations happens it means that they are not anymore
in a living connection with God, or one of thepartners
isn't anymore or both of them aren't anymore. Beacouse
if both partners are in a living connection with God,
God will prevent this ever from happening.
If one of the partners loses his/her connection to
God, the other partner has as responsebility to guide
the other partner back to God, in any way he/she can
do. It might be by talking to the partner, giving
his/her witness to the other partner, or by his/her
actions, so that the other partner will see that God
is a good God, and will see Gods mighty loving glow
again.If both partners have lost their connection,they
should both become aware of it. God will continuesly
give small hints to both partners and they
would be wise to follow up those hints. Becouse if
they don't wish to hear those hints, or don't follow
them up, they do not only build a gap between
eachother, they also build a gap between him/her and
God.
God didn't create humans to come to a standstill in
relations, becouse if he would have done that he would
have build robots that went a predictable
way everytime they were activited. No God created us
to live in a living everchanging relation with him and
eachother. It is our purpose to spiritually grow with
the means of relations, To keep learning from
God/the other partner and keep changing by that
relation so that both partners benefit from it, and
not only one side benefits from it.
So, be warned, do not try to put your partner in a
box, where he/she cannot climb out from, but let them
be free, and growing, and you will discover
that your relationship will grow more fantastic each
passing day, becouse each day, you discover a
marvelous treasure that is part of the partner
and you will grow closer and closer to that other
partner.
/me goes out of preaching mode