I am sorry for your loss and I could never claim to imagine how hard it must be. I'm writing in the hope to offer you some comfort if I can. If you are a spiritual person at all, try to remember that James is not in pain now, he is with God. You are the one who is feeling grief and regret. Try not to feel bad for James, he is okay. It's okay to cry and let your feelings out. But you have your other child that needs you. You can still have a life full of joy with the help of that child. You won't forget James, but your grief will lessen over time and you will be happy again.
The Christians here aren't trying to abuse women of abortions. Their words can be harsh but it's because they're extremely passionate about their beliefs. They believe that abortions are sins and that those who perpetuate the practice are sinners. But you have clearly shown how sorry you are and they shouldn't have any reason to criticize you.
I don't agree with abortions, but I don't think that those who practice them are bad people, just misled. Those that are hurt most by them are women like yourself, who go through with it and are then regretful. Try to forgive yourself. You can continue to grieve as much as you need to, but at least you can look forward to a full life with your child, your friends and your family. Try to find a little happiness every day. I hope you can feel better soon and I wish you the best.
- Joe