I understand your frustration and I think you have a point. In the olden days when it was very uncool to come out (western suburbs sydney), I found an ever growing desire for women. Scared out of my wits and a total emotional mess I decided to give God 6 months to do something to fix my unhappiness (in all areas of my life). If this didn't work, I figured it would be fair enough to commit suicide, knowing that at least I'd tried. I HATED the attitude of some of the Christians there and didn't think much of Church either...so I just learnt about God for myself in my own heart and read the Bible. I could not overlook the scriptures about Homosexuality, in the Bible and had to face to "horendous truth" that I was one. I needed LOTS of answers: if its bad, why is it bad, why was I bad if my feelings seemed so totally out of my control?
I left the mission and said to God "if you love me, then show me what the big deal is about being gay, Im getting a girlfriend but I really want to know the truth" I have been in gayland for 11 years and have a lot of lovely gay friends but I don't call myself a lesbian anymore because I don't need to. I wrestled with my sexuality just as I did my faith. I have learned that God hates it because commitment to it hurts us in lots of ways. I can only talk for myself but my desire for women was to get love from a woman that wasn't provided for me as a child. I'd also been raped which didn't exaclty leave me running into the arms of men. My desire was for women alone. I respect that if the Bible is Gods word then I must adhere to it if I want life...but is was through the gentleness that only God can provide that my question was answered. I got miraculously healed from codependancy and I find its not hard to not be gay because Ive been filled up and the need isn't there. The reason that you are having trouble with Christian attitudes is because usually its not loving and loaded with fear. The church has a lot to answer for as far as their attitude to gay people. God loves you mate, why don't you ask him what the big deal is?...then listen out for the answer in whatever way it comes. my understanding is that He doesn't like it cause he loves you. If only Christians knew that! [/i]