Baptists Don't Dance
Parody of "Your Mama Don't Dance" by Loggins and Messina
References: Eccl 3:4
Parody Lyrics by Randall Hyde
Well, the Baptists don't dance
And the Catholics won't Rock 'n' Roll
The Lutherans just chant
Church of Christ just says "oh-no"
Can't be heaven bound
If your body rolls around
Don't you know? It costs your soul.
The old folks say
That "You better not sway, amen!
Better keep it all sedate,
Or you'll make us all irate, that's a sin!
Your body don't abuse
With a pair of blue suede shoes
That won't praise Him."
I'll say it again
And it's all because:
The Baptists don't dance
And the Catholics won't Rock 'n' Roll
The Lutherans just chant
Church of Christ just says "oh-no"
Can't be heaven bound
If your body rolls around
Don't you know? It costs your soul.
Church is Presbyterian
You're here just on a lark
You're sitting in the back pew
The choir's hit the mark
You feel your body movin'
And you raise your hands with ease
You're quite a sight
And then a guy says
"What are you doing there?"
Oh please
We disagree
Our legalese
And it's all because:
The Baptists don't dance
And the Catholics won't Rock 'n' Roll
The Lutherans just chant
Church of Christ just says "oh-no"
Can't be heaven bound
If your body rolls around
Don't you know? It costs your soul.
Not apropos, that holy roll.
Not apropos, that holy roll.