I must say that the Homosexuality topic on this site has been a very interesting read. Well... I haven't read it all, but I will sift through it in time.
I am not here to start any fights. My intentions are for intelligent discussions with intelligent people, and with a contrasting belief to mine. I am a gay (homosexual, fag, freak, queer - they all hurt, so do away with PCism), and I am also an athiest.
After reading some of the other topics here, I thought that I should present myself, and who I am; not to defend my actions, but rather to defend myself as a person.
For a great deal of my youth, I was raised in a very Christian environment. I was sure to hear every derrogatory term, and every detail about how homosexuals burn in hell, during this time. I would sit back and listen to the comments, even throwing in some disgusting comments myself. For years I did everything I could to convince myself that I wasn't this way, that it was merely a "phase," and I wouldn't dissapoint every person I ever respected. When I would get certain "feelings" and thoughts I would pray to God. I would bawl my eyes out asking for something, strenghth, guideance, or anything - unfortunately I never did get any response or strength; I can honestly say that I truly believed at this time.
After a few years of suicidal though, and hating myself, I finally came to terms with me. The realization that I was different was hard, but at the same time, I have never felt more free.
I have absolutely no intention of bringing harm to anyone else, and I am hurt by comments that gay people are selfish, self-serving, and only looking for lust. I would be willing to give my life for a friend, or the shirt off my back for someone in greater need. I have had the lusteous relationship on both sides of the fence, however, I am no longer looking for s-e-x, but for a meaningfull relationship with someone I can share love with. We do not all fit this narrow view, but it seems that it is those people that stand out and get everyones attention, much in the same way many Christians are viewed as prudes, devoid of fun, smashing their fist on a pulpit - red neck flaring.
The mere though of causing anyone else grief bothers me. I have never had a desire to hurt another human being or animal, but have always wanted to make the world a place where people didn't die senselissy for some rediculous cause. As a gay person, I don't want to impede on the lifes of others, but I do wish to be accepted for who I am, and not live in fear for my life.
I have though about my orientation for countless hours, and I cannot once say that I just decided that I was going be gay, contrary to popular belief. It also didn't just happen either; I was always 'different' from my peers, even at a very young age - before sexual orientation could even be an issue.
Yes, I believe that there is a gay agenda, but it is no different from the agenda of the government, the church, or even the family. For me, it is merely a goal to recieve the same respect from "sinners" that I give them. All sins are created equall, so why should one be deemed more innapropriate than others? People choose to lie every single day; from the "no that doesn't make your *ss look big." to the "it's gonna be alright." We justify it because it makes people feel better, and it's a way to help others get through with there life, but I have yet to see picketers with signs against those "little white lies" we've become accustomed to. Both the Canadian and American governments use the word "God" in some part of the system; the Canadian national anthem, the American currency. However, the whole governmental system has been based on lie from the first days human government.
I am not asking anyone to change their religion for little ol' me. I am, however, asking for people to read what I've wrote and realize that I am not some heathen sl*t, who has nothing better to do than to defile God. No, I don't believe in God, but I respect that you people do; that is your right. I also respect your faith in something I cannot follow. The Bible is a great moral guideline, but I do not believe that it can be taken literaly (again, merely my belief. No insult intended), and that it's current interpretation comes from a corrupt society that places a taboo on non-conformists. The bible is very scant on it's verses about homosexuality, and I have heard varying intrepretations from that small unclear passage(s).
I look forward to joining your other discussions as well, and I hope that I haven't insulted anyone.
Robert