[I Found this TRUE story in a book I came across at a yard sale one day.]
There was this enterprising young fellow who lived in the Natchez MS area back in the late 1950's - early 1960's. He was working his way through business college and had his sights set on some day becoming the best salesman who'd ever set foot on the soils of central MS!
Fortunately for him, he had an uncle who'd been the owner of a fairly sizable electronic sales, service, and distribrution business there in Natchez. Thinking that this nephew had promise, the uncle gladly took him on as a summer apprentice.
This was also about the time when the concept of having "piped in" music in office and factory workplaces was just in its infancy. Back then, of course, there were no XM or Sirius satellite systems. Nope, then it was a rather cumbersome tube radio/intercom set up that involved lots of coxial (shielded wire) cabling , amps, and speakers.
Uncle, not having the time himself to be bothered with all these contraptions, decides to task his nephew with trying to sell these systems on a contract basis to as many white- and blue-collar businesses he could find in the Natchez, Vicksburg, Greenwood, MS area (and as far eastward as nephew dared venture!).
As nephew sets out on this new sales crusade, he just happens to notice that old cemetery located across the road from uncle's business. Then it hits him: Why not come up with a modified system that'd softly play organ renditions of those comforting old hymns of the faith, and market it to all the funeral homes in central MS?
Fortunately for nephew, his grandmother was an old retired organist. He visits Mam-maw and tells her that he'd love to have a recording of her organ playing "for old time's sake." Thrilled that her grandson would care that much for her playing, she graciously obliges.
With reel-to-reel tape in hand, he goes back to his uncle's business, explains what he needs to have modified to this piped-in music system to the technician in the service department: "Piece of cake...Have it for you in a couple hours!"
So after a power lunch of crawdads, nephew swings by the shop. Loads up this modified system in his used Hudson sedan, and sets off to find the first funeral home he can.
As it turned out, the first funeral home that he DID find, was one whose territory spanned some two or three counties there in central MS. Now, the funeral director had never heard of piped in music before and was skeptical about the value of this high-falutin' hodge-podge of tubes and wires and what-not.
But nephew will not be denied! He puts it to Mr. F. Director this way: 1) He'll go ahead and set up this system free of charge; 2) At the very next funeral there is, you explain the the family what it is, they OK it; 3) And if it dramatically changes the image of your funeral home [how could it NOT?], upon my return, we'll shake hands, you'll sign this here contract [and I'll get a sizable commission]!
Reluctantly Mr. F. Director agrees to these terms. Nephew sets up the system, and he's on his way to become a member of the Central MS Salesmen's Hall of Fame!
But, here's the rub: Across the street from the funeral home is the residence of crusty WWII vet--a widower whose one and only pasttime is spending his evenings parked in front of his Collins two-thousand watt ham transmitter tied to a tower that'd match any cell phone tower you can imagine. Moreover, this vet could have cared less about anybody's religion. In fact, jokingly(?) someone made up this elaborate MVP award that he treasured: Most Vile Pagan!!
As fate would have it, the very next funeral that Mr. F. Director was confronted with turned out to be that of a old revivalist who'd spent some 60-70 years travelling all over the back roads of central MS speaking at any little church that'd have him; in jails, on street corners, under tents, and the like.
The Director knew this service would be "the big one"! He thanked his lucky stars that now this piped in music system was there for its debut! But his dreams were interrupted by reality. Outside was a huge convoy of vehicles from every flower shop he'd ever heard of (and a couple that he'd NEVER heard of!)!!!
In the rush to have this virtual Garden of Eden look just so, he never noticed that some flower shop delivery boy had accidently scraped off just one tiny strand of coxial cable from the piped in music system that was hidden behind and to the front of the casket. That's all it took for that entire run of coax to now act as a receiving antenna for any stray radio transmission within about 300 feet.
The Saturday evening funeral service was packed. Generations of people whose lives had been touched and dramatically changed by our courageous evangelist's preaching were there. Former drunkards who were now pastoring or serving in mission organizations.....families once on the verge of splitting up who'd been reconciled....preachers whose dead churches were set on fire....and the list goes on.
However, one person who wasn't there was....you guessed it....Mr. MVP Ham operator next door. No sir, he was parked in front of his rig twisting its dials and knobs, and chewing the rag with a chap from Alaska whose business was selling and re-conditioning dog sleds.
Of course, FCC regs prohibit obscene or abusive language being transmitted on the ham bands, but they are silent about mundane things such as talking about the weather.
Central MS ...... Middle of the summer ...... Are you getting the picture?
As the grieving wife nervously bends over to lovingly kiss the lips of her dearly departed soldier of the Cross (Who, of course, by now was basking in the loving arms of Jesus!), out over that speaker comes crackling these broken fragments of a one-sided Ham transmission:
"...... Sure is HOT down here where I am!!......"
"...... I'm telling you, it's like BEING IN A FIERY FURNACE down here where I am!!!........"
Needless to say, our nephew didn't get the contract.