Hi, I hope this doesn't get me kicked off the forum, but I am a Gay Christian, and will try to answer your questions to the best of my ability.
Is "marriage" a prerequisite for gay sex?
A: Where Marriage is Legal, Yes (though as you will read below, a "Ceremony" as such isn't necessarily required)...
Where it isn't - (as with Heterosexuals) It is between the Couple and God as to when the right time is... a lot of Prayer and Worship is involved, a LOT of people do get blessings from Priests/Pastors in a Church, but (as we see in the Bible) these "ceremonies" aren't necessary to "Confirm" what heterosexual people see as a "Marriage" of 2 people.
Does a person have to be in a committed relationship first?
A: Definately!
If so, what does that mean and who determines this?
A: As above - God and the Couple
Do you have to have a public commitment ceremony first similar to the heterosexual marriage ceremony?
A: As above
Is divorce permissable? Under what grounds?
A: Anyone - straight or gay - who get's "Married (or otherwise)" plans to be together for ever, this would be my plan .. as it is with most other Gay Christians that I know. Divorce would be as permissable as it is with Heterosexual "Marriage" with the same "Rules" and "Grounds".
Are there guidelines on this issue for gay Christians anywhere?
A: There is (apparently) 2 Sides to being a Gay Christian, they are somewhat similar to being a Heterosexual Christian. To many Gay Christians they are known as Side A and Side B.
Side A: Believes God calls us to "Love and Act on Love" and believes in the apparently "Alternative" way at reading the scriptures which condemn homosexuals. They Believe that many of them are Mis-interprated (especially in the most modern translations), and a LOT of proof is provided for this. They should not be taken at first glance - as a lot of Heterosexual Christians seem to do. As you said above, the Bible does not condemn Homosexual Relationships, only homosexual activity of a sinful nature for example: (as with Heterosexuals again) Rape, Molestation, "Gang Bangs", Sexual Offerings to other "apparent" Gods, Woshipping eachother or their own bodies instead of God.
Side B: Believes they are "Called to Celebacy"
Some Side B'ers also believe that "Somewhere in the Bible" it condemns homosexual sex within a loving relationship.
Some also believe that they can be in a Gay relationship but with no sexual contact.
Can someone show me where I can learn about this?
If you're really interested (and open Minded), I'm part of a Forum/Network called GCN (Gay Christian Network) - it's at www.gaychristian.net and there's a lot of information and essays on there regarding Side A and Side B, Testemonies, Scripture and just about everything else you can think of.
How do you make decisions about when God permits sex in a gay relationship and when He would view it as sin?
A: I think I explained that above with the marriage/blessing bit.
How did you arrive at the ethics that guide your relationship? Or put another way, did your views on this come from yourself, from talking to other gays, or from your church?
A: Well, as far as I'm aware I got my views from God himself, he led me to Church, he led me to become a Christian (this was quite a while after I realized I was Gay and previously had no intrest in Religion/Christianity), he tells me constantly that I'm here to make a difference in the World and that my "Orientation" is a Gift. He puts Trials/Tests/Battles/Lessons in front of me (and everyone else). I have no reason NOT to believe. Christianity is imbedded in my soul just like my orientation.
Any idea what percentage of Christian gays actually try and follow some sort of moral code in their sexual life?
A: As far as I'm aware ALL of the Gay Christians that I know do follow a Moral code of Love (Just like Jesus) and through emense Faith in Jesus which (as with Heterosexuals) keep our Morals and Values at a high priority.
Any help will be appreciated. Thanks.
Hope some of that helps for you (and again, hope I don't get booted).
Cheers
QUIC