Aineo,
You seem determined to feel victimized, or misunderstood. Let's just stipulate that Christians are NOT homophobic, okay?
Now.
What is the concern about homosexuals, by ANYONE?
Why is it an issue? Why is there a controversy? You said attributing opposing to gay unions to fear "denies the reasons some (including homosexuals) oppose legalizing gay unions." Fair enough.
Here is your opportunity for a Teaching Moment.
WHAT are the reasons?