<My post got dropped...fortunately I though ahead and copied it! >
Wow...this is what I was looking for - an actual discussion instead of throwing out statements without information...that being said
Of course, as I'm sure most that read this will have figured out, I agree with Gesh and Scolai - as a matter of fact, I will give my personal opinions (and why) and when, and how - I am not ashamed of my life or my past. I have done things that are shamefull - however pornography is not one of them - and as I've said many times in the past, my life is an open book. All you have to do is ask, and I'll answer honestly to the best of my abilities.
There. That being said
I enjoy pornography. I enjoy it by myself and I enjoy it with my wife. There are no feelings of guilt or shame associated with it - it simply is. It is not a necessity, however it is a pasttime, and why should I not participate in a hobby I enjoy when it's not harming anyone?
I'm sure that you would include strip clubs into your definition of pornography, and since that is something that has yet to be brought up, perhaps I can actually toss some info out there regarding that
My wife and I have been to multiple strip clubs in our area. We have lived in the city for 4 years and have gone to 3 different strip clubs - a grand total of about five times. The primary reasons for not going more are 1) my wife is going to Nursing School and our time together is limited as it is. It's even more limited when she has school/work the next day, so going out at night is infrequent at best. This will change 2) Lack of money. We enjoy going to the clubs and while many of them don't have a cover charge for locals, the drinks (most clubs only serve soda/tea - no booze) can be pricy. Not only that, what those girls do is hard work - and most times they have to pay the club before they even get onstage. Not only that, private dances (from which my wife and I have had a few) are pretty expensive.
My wife considered herself, at one time, bisexual. She has been in a couple of different girl/girl relationships. She does not consider herself bisexual anymore because she is married and because sexually she is not stimulated by women as much as she once was. She still enjoys the dances and the dancers (as do I). Neither she nor I have ever cheated (or considered cheating) on a partner. We have discussed pretty much every possible scenario regarding our sexuality and know what does and doesn't offend the other person. Our relationship does not suffer emotionally or sexually - granted, we are not as active as we once were, however most of that is because of her work/school schedule.
I agree that associating rape/molestation with pornography is inaccurate at best - what a rapist/molester gets from his or her activities is power. The sex is an incidental issue. What a man or woman gets from posing/acting in a pornographic magazine or movie is money. It is a job. What a person viewing pornography gets is entertainment - just like any other magazine or movie.
I will agree that men and women leave each other all the time - and many times they claim that it's because of pornography, they were too weak, they went to the strip club...etc etc etc..."I couldn't say no!!" To those I would have to say "Horse Pucky!" If you made a promise to your spouse to be faithful then regardless of what your excuse is you have broken that promise. Those individuals get no respect from me - ever. It is the responsibility of those in the relationship to set boundaries, not the responsibility of some person down the street that claims immoral or unethical fact, all the while being unable to back it up.
As I have said many times before - you have the right to view what I do as wrong. You have the right to discuss and debate the topic with me to your hearts content. However, unless my activity is harming another person, you do not have the right to take that away from me. I take my freedoms very seriously...which is why I questioned your motives.
Thanks for the discussion!