Interesting post. But, first of all, love is not total surrender to another. Love is caring for another over and above one's care for oneself. It's being willing to take responsibility for another and to be concerned. It doesn't always 'feel' good, but the commitment is made and kept.
Sex within a marriage is not always, or even primarily, for procreation. There is a lot more to becoming one than the act of sex! There is a union of minds, an appreciation of one another, thinking of the other first, foregiveness, encouragement, laughter, praying -- so many threads combine to make that rope of 'one-ness.' Sex is simply an extension of all that in the physical realm. It is wonderful that it is also the way to make babies, but many are too old or simply cannot conceive for one reason or another. Should they forego sex? Of course not! While I do agree that most of the time contraceptives are used because humans are telling God He doesn't know what He is doing, and are,a for that reason, wrong, the fact remains that while sex outside of marriage in any way, shape, or form is wrong and a sin, sex within marriage (man/woman) is an expression of the couple's one-ness and a joy for them.
In addition, the way a married couple chooses to express their sexual union is entirely up to them. Period. If they are Christian and the Lord wants them to change their ways, He will let them know.