The topic is finally back.
Kai, you have many quotes above. I guess we will aggree upon that there are times when fighting becomes inevitable. But the intention is more important than that. You quoted verses that descrie the very essence of war, but omitted verses that tells Muslims to not to trangress limits, or verses that says anger toward a community should not let Muslims to injustice or to extreme edge. So you are not objective.
As for hadith that you describe as permitting rape etc. Slavery is permitted and Muslims were not shy at using those permits. And sex with female slaves is permitted, under conditions. Sex is allowed only when the owner is certain. When a female slave gives birth to a child from her owner she is free. Female slaves could be made married to other slaves as well, which hinders the right to have sex. That being said, sex while husbands are watching is completely out of question, since Muslims are urged to have sex under a sheet even in their bedrooms when nobody can see, because there are at least angels around every human being. This reduces credibility of such hadiths.
Another point is that slavery had more been an option when the war had a tribal character, to deprive enemy from war power by enslaving them. When Muslim states with regular armies fought other non-muslim states with regular armies they took prisoners of war among soldiers, not slaves. Thats because they would not enslave whole lands with big populations.
Islam's strecthed to three continents. If the war practices were severe as you claim, Islam would not find that appeal. Also Muslims brought civilization to lands they conquered, they shared what they had, they did not exploited them. Islam had mighty empires throughout the Islamic lands under different races: Arabs (Abbasids, Umayyids) , Berberis (Fatimids, Movahhids), Turks (Seljuks, Ottomans), Persions (Safavids), Hindu Muslims (Baburians), Indo-Malays (Aceh).
Christianity on the other hand has been stuck in Europe for centuries, and when it spreaded to other lands it deprived locals from their resources and power. Religion has become a gadget in Europeans' quest for expolitation. Strong Christian states beyond Europe are all Anglo-Sax. origin: Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, USA, Canada. You cannot show one mighty Christian state led by local ethnicities, continuing to speak their own language.
After Christianity had been enslaved by Europeans, it brought misery to where it landed. The case is just the opposite with Islam. Islam is universal. Now you see the difference.