Parable of the sower
Matthew 13:1-9 states:
That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. Then he told them many things in parables, saying: "A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop--a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. He who has ears, let him hear."
The explanation of the parable is found in verses 18-23.
"Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is the seed sown along the path. The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But sicne he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away. The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown."
Valentia, you fall into the first category. Because of your lack of understanding about Jesus, His commandments, and the Christian faith, you allowed Satan to snatch up the word and to reinforce the wall that had already been placed between you and Jesus.
Now, you have one of two choices.
1. You can repent, accept Jesus as Lord and Savior, and agree to follow Him all the days of your life. Don't get me wrong. The life of a Christian is extremely difficult. But it is worth it, when you endure hardships on behalf of Jesus and His cause.
2. You can continue to follow the path you've already chosen, which will lead only to disaster and destruction.
The choice is yours, and I pray that you'll make the right one.