Now please I understand fully this is a very touchy subject and the word touchy dosnt even begin to describe it.
Fist off I wish to say I am not Pro Life in the sence of against abortion.
I AM Pro life for all living creatures.
Now you may ask what the heck is she talking about??
Let me clarify myself then, I'm a 26 year old Female with 3 children.
Why am I not agasint abortion?
I will answer that after I tell you about myself its a long story so please grab a glass of milk.
I was born to a woman who already had 4 other children and worked the streets for a living.
Child protective services took 4 of us away from her after my brother was found dead he was two months old.
I was 2 years old at the time and was taken into custody and was held for nearly a month in ICU for severe malnutrition , strep and complications of pheumona.
My two oldest sisters were split up one put in a home because of her emotional disterbances she could not be placed with a family.
She did manage to grow up become addiected to drugs and gave birth to a little boy who died at the age of 4 months complication of being born addicted.
My oldest sister was placed with a couple for foster care.
She grew up and seemed quite stable untill she had children of her own.
Last year when the boys were 11, 10, and 8 years old she walked away without a word , they are currently in the custody of the state of Missiouri.
She never bonded with her children so I guess found no remourse in walking out on them.
Me and my last sister the court ordered we were to be kept together we were young and had a chance at being adopted.
We were put in fostercare and went through several home and a few prospective adoptive parents none worked out untill I was six years old.
When I was six years old I was placed with the family that would eventualy adopt me, but it still took another two years after placment for the court to finaly revoke my birth mothers rights compleatly.
I wish I could say it was all great from there on out but it wasnt.
I was adopted yes into a very well off and privliged family even.
Well off enough for the police to turn thier heads the other way in the tiny town we lived in when nieghbors called the them.
I ran away at the age of sixteen and had a child at the age of seventeen.
I dont know what went wrong in that most women spend nine months in excitment and fear over thier comming child.
I spent mine in depression and admitadly hatred and guilt because I knew I shouldnt feel this way.
Well I had a little boy and nothing changed I still resented everything about him and wanted nothing more than to get away I went to school full time and worked full time and when I got home I never cuddled him or spoke really i just fed him gave him a bath and went to bed.
Needless to say he developed emotional problems.
When I was 19 I had another child but this time was everything in the world differant from the moment I knew I was excited and happy about this baby ..but i still disliked my son.
When my little girl was born I focused on her compleatly which lead to further emotional neglect of my son.
I knew this was wrong but I couldnt help it for some reason and I was afraid to tell anyone because I was afraid they would take my little girl away from me.
When he was 4 years old he attacked his sister violently and I lost it.
By the time I relized what I was doing he was covered his whole body in belt marks.
I think I relized then that there was something wrong with me.
I waited untill his bruises were gone then I did the only thing I knew to do
I packed him up drive him to his fathers mothers house and left him with her.
I have never been back.
My little girl is now seven and she has a younger sister who is four.
They are the center of my world and I am the center of thiers.
They are happy children the oldest is a straight A student and the younger is a little imp.
I love my girls fully and without reserve I would die for them and I would kill for them.
While I do not visit my son I do keep updated on him.
He will never be normal he has a terrible attachment disorder and depression he is on medication and does have suisidal tendancies.
I short I am to blame for that perhaps I should have had an abortion rather than bring a life not wanted into the world.
I love children now..all children my youngest has high functioning autism and has tought me a valuble lesson in life.
That lesson is butterflys are pretty , she tought me how to look at the world through the eyes of a child who has never known there is a darker side of life.
She modivated me to try to help other children.
I joined the big sisters program.
But all in all here is what I have learned in my life.
I am not agasinst abortion because I see so many faces of children already here who need help.
I look at them and I cant understand why so many people lobby for children not born and yet so few lift a finger for those already here.
Anyway I am for protecting life.... but when I say life I mean those who are here now , with us.
Children die each day..children and babies ones who are already here breathing, dreaming, and we can reach out and touch them and there they are.
Everyday children die at the hands of those who are supposed to be protecting them and everyday we hear about how many people are trying to get abortion baned...and yet I rarly hear any of these people attempting to save those children already here.
So there it is my Pro life stance is for those already here children and adults and even animals.
<I cant say I feel the same about fire ants I perfer to kill them :roll: >
So in short i'm asking only for a better understand here of why do so many lobby for rights of children not yet here and so very few lift a finger to help those who are.
Even though they all say oh how terrible when the news comes on and we hear of another one dead at the hands of thier providers.
I know the pictures of those who never had a chance at life are compeling..but not compeling enough to a person who knows what can become of a child born unwanted.
I dont belive in the religious aspect of reasons...I belive this is something you must belive in because your compeled for a reason to belive in it..not just because a book says its wrong. (please dont flame me over that statment its just what I belive and have had a few to many bad run in's with what I call bible thumpers ..those who preach one thing than do another)
On a side note I met my birth mother a few years ago she was a born again christian and a memeber of the second baptist church.
She told me I was going to go to hell for not being a christian.
But I have found peace and happiness in my belifes I think thats all any of us can really ask for is to find that peace finaly and to be happy in life despite all the things it can dish your way.
And its my firm belife we as a nation should be trying to help those already here.
But I am also trying to get a understanding as to WHY so many choose to rally for those not yet here instead.
I'm not here for debate or aurguing I asked this question before on a public pro choice forum without my life story attached and got flamed into itty bitty chunks and i'm still not sure why.
If there are spelling errors or you have trouble following what I write I'm sorry I do the best I can.
Motto Dyslexia isnt a disability its an advantige in strange cross word puzzles.
Thank you for reading my long and most likly fuzzy post.
Crystal