This is my personal experience which I faced in the alien culture, where I always felt like an island surrounded by ocean, without any resources to counter the adversities that my family faced. My intention is to educated muslim sister and brother that Islam is a ever growing religion in all senses.
I have lived in North America for the past 16 years or so. I left Pakistan, my home country, at a very young age. Initially I spent time in Europe, then came back to Pakistan. I studied in English medium school and received the best education that money could buy at that time in Pakistan. To make a long story short, I ended up in the U.S.A, a married man with a child, but still young and unfocused on religion. There I made a lot of acquaintances, non-Muslims. During casual get-togethers religion would always come up in discussions, and I always ended up defending my religion as an ignorant person without knowing any intricate details.
There was one hot topic which always came up and about which the comprehension I had was from my elders and from attending Juma prayers, where this topic was a rare occurrence. Yet, whatever I knew was mostly influenced by the Hindu culture of the area, as most aspects of Muslim life in Pakistan have Hindu influences. The topic was “THE STATUS OF WOMEN IN Islam”. There would be a lot of jokes flying around about how a Muslim man can marry more than one woman at one time.
I quietened the Hindu acquaintances by reminding them, we Muslims marry legally, unlike their Gods, e.g. Their Lord Krishna had gopies (mistresses).Christians I always asked them to look around in their society to see what was happening, thought they make fun of the small ages of brides in Muslim cultures, who have legal status as wives. But in their own society, 10, 11, 12 year old girls are giving birth to bastards and I have never sugar-quoted this word, as it is a word from the English language. But I realized it was ignorance on my part, being Muslim I should have had a better understanding.
Recently, as I was researching on a different topic, verses started to answer my questions about women in Islam, so I took it upon myself to compile these verses for the benefit of general Muslims, like myself.
For me it is like a child finding a candy unexpectedly and the glow that child feels inside, but I want to share this candy with others.
Qur’an “Living Miracle”
For a thing to be living, it has to grow and change. As human understanding of the nature is growing, so is the understanding of the content in the Qur’an is changing, yet the text is remaining exactly the same.
There are some people among us who joke that “mullahs” attribute any and all new finds, inventions to the Qur’an. If it was in the Qur’an, then why didn’t they invented/researched it themselves. Why, that after the kafirs/infidels research, and develop something, then the mullahs claim it to be a part of the Qur’an?
It is not so, first of all, Muslims contribution to modern technology is immeasurable. It is a different but vast topic. Here I will give one example. Al-Jabir, father of modern day Algebra, without which no theory can be calculated, is the foundation of modern day technological growth and development.
As the book of Qur’an is for all times to come, it had to prove to every generation that it is the Divine Revelation. I will not go in the history of things here, but quote few modern day Miracles of Qur’an. So that the educated brothers and sisters can have a better understanding.
Big Bang Theory
Do not the Unbelievers see
That the heavens and the earth
Were joined together (as one
Unit of creation), before
We clove them asunder? 21:30
This information given in the Qur’an, is in full agreement with the findings of the contemporary science. The conclusion that astrophysics has reached is the that the entire universe, together with the dimensions of matter and time, came into existence as a result of a great explosion that occurred in no time. This event is known as the Big Bang Theory” proved that universe was created from nothingness as the result of the explosion of a single point. Modern scientific circles are in agreement that the big bang is the rational and provable explanation of the beginning of the universe, and of how the universe came into being.
The sensitive censors on board the COBE space satellite, which was launched by NASA in 1992, captured evidentiary remnants of Big Bang. This discovery served as evidence for the Big Bang, which is the scientific explanation of the fact that the universe was created from nothing.
(Commentary by Yahya Harun)
There are many such verses in Qur’an, meanings of which are now becoming clear to us. e.g.
It is He Who created the night and day.
And the sun and the moon,
They swim along, each in an orbit. 21:33
It has only recently being discovered that our sun is also moving (swimming) in an orbit.
“By the sky full of paths” (orbits) 51:07
This is a very vast topic. To discuss this, one has to have knowledge of multiple disciplines of science. I only wanted to establish that the text of Qur’an is the same as it was 1400 years ago, but it’s understanding is changing. Which is the testimony of it’s divinity.
I know by now many readers must have grown vary, that the topic suggest is different than what this person is discussing. Yet it is very important to establish every developing, changing and growing nature of the Qur’an text remaining the same, to understand the topic at hand. Here I will thank you call for being patient, please do read on.
Is Woman Equal to Man in Islam?
Comment: Before I quote the verse (s) from Qur’an, it is important to establish that there are always exceptions to rules, e.g. There might be a female wrestler who can beat me like a dummy, but then this would be an exception and not a rule. Allah created man different from woman, much proof lies in human anatomy.
For Muslim men and women
For believing men and women
For devout men and women
For true men and women,
For men and women who are
Patient and constant, for men
And women who humble themselves
For men and women who give
In charity, for men and women
Who fast (and deny themselves)
For men and women who
Guard their chastity, and
For men and women who
Engage much in God’s praise-
For them God prepared
Forgiveness and great reward. 33:35
Comment: Due to physical differences between man and woman, Allah has assigned different duties to them, but in faith both are equal.
Hoors/ Hurs in Paradise?
Comment: Where Allah has mentioned Hoors/ Hurs in Paradise for believing men, there are also numerous verses where the word “companion” or” Spouse” is used. Both of these words can be translated for both men and women.
….. And they have there in
Companions pure (and holy)
And they abide there in (forever) 2:25
But those who believe
And do deeds of righteousness
We shall admit to Gardens,
With rivers slowing beneath,-
Their eternal home,
There in shall they have
Companions pure and holy:
We shall admit them
To shades, cool and ever deepening 04:57
Comment: In the above verses, Allah promises companions for everyone who will enter paradise.
Who will enter the Gardens with rivers flowing beneath?
If any do deeds
Of righteousness,-
Be they male or female-
And have faith
They will enter Heaven,
And not the least injustice
Will be done to them. 04:124
That He may admit
The men and women
Who believe, to Gardens
Beneath which river flows,…
Whom should you not annoy?
And those who annoy
Believing men and women
Undeservedly, bear (on themselves)
A clumny and glaring sin. 33:58
Comment:
See how man and woman are mentioned in the same line of the verse. Equal mention by Allah for believers.
I know by now readers must be thinking: Why is he bouncing around the main issue of multiple marriages by man. It is very important to establish first, that believing men and women are equal in faith.
I hope to prove that in the institution of marriage in Islam , the women are ahead of the men and there are valid reasons behind it. In the area known as the sub-continent, Muslim daily life is influenced by the majority of the population (Hindus), where the women were treated and traded as property, where women were condemned to life of misery when widowed, if she herself survives from being a satee (burned alive)
In the far east, Muslims are influenced by Buddhist and Hindu cultures, as well.
In the middle east, the cradle of Islam, divorce is abused, although it was an act Allah permitted reluctantly, but is practiced in the middle east readily. Men in the middle east are influenced by pre-Islamic tribal cultures. So most of these practices are now considered to be a part of Islam, though in reality Islam rejects all of this.
Here, before I continue, I must make it clear that I am not doing any comparative analysis with other religions, but merely mentioning why Allah revealed what He did in our Qur’an. Before Islam, in all the religions the women were under strict control of the men. She could not own property, she was nonentity, but when Islam came, all of this changed.
Multiple Marriages or Monogamy?
If ye fear that ye shall not
Be able to deal justly
With orphans
Marry women of your choice
Two, or three, or four; 04:03
Comment: Four is the figure with which we are bombarded with over and over with. Yes, Muslim men are allowed to marry more than once, yet they must qualify before they do so. A man has to complete many prerequisites, economical, emotional, physical, and for each prerequisite there are many sub-conditions that have to be fulfilled.
Allah, All-knowing and All-seeing, knows that in the future there will be more percentage of females than males. As Qur’an is the last revelation, some sort of arrangement had to be issued so to avoid sinful activities by humans. The verse continues:
But if ye fear that ye shall not
Be able to deal justly
Then Only One, or (a captive)
That your right hand posses,
That will be more suitable,
To prevent you
From doing injustice. 04:03
Again in the same sura, Allah makes it clear. This time, it is more explicit language.
Ye are never able
To be fair and just
As between women,
Even if it is
Your ardent desire; 04:129
Comment: In the above verse the Creator, Who knows His creations, declares that man will never be able to deal justly between women. Hence one.
Marry women of your choice. What about women’s right to choose?
Ye who believe
Ye are forbidden to inherit
Women against their will…. 04:19
How should Women be treated?
Nor should ye treat them
With harshness, that ye may
Take away part of the dower
Ye have given them, 04:19
But the Qur’an says to beat the women?
……As those women
On whose part ye fear
Disloyalty and ill conduct
Admonish them (first)
(Next) refuse to share their beds,
(And last) beat them (lightly)
But if they return to obedience,
Seek not against them
Means (of annoyance)
For God is Most High,
Great (above you all) 04:34
Comment: World over, Christian missionaries use this verse to give credence to their claim that women in Islam are treated as second rate people. No, but to the contrary, this verse instructs Muslim males not to be confrontational even with disloyal women. Yet rather to gradually, in steps, to deal with the situation in line with human physcology.
Step 1. To verbally warn them and ask the woman to mend her ways
Step 2. This is a very important step, as of most women start feeling insecure if they don’t have physical contact with their husbands. In this situation she will mend her ways.
Step 3. The last resort, to implement this step one, first has to exhaust all other options. Then to beat a woman in such a way that there is not a single mark left on her skin. Think what kind of beating this is.
As soon as women return to obedience, the husband has been ordered not to nag or be sarcastic about the past. Now if the woman is annoyed, it is the husband who is now in sin. Forgiving and Merciful, Allah is.
We have now established the equality of women, their right to choose and preference for monogamy,. Yet, in my opinion, Allah has closed the door on multiple marriages more than 95% in 04:129. He declares that man will never be able to do justice between women. Allah does not like injustice.
Divorce is also one of the issues where a lot of problems are faced by Muslim women as compared to their counterparts in the western world, who have almost strangle hold on their ex-husbands. Yet Muslim women have had those rights for over 1400 years.
Can Believing women ask for Divorce?
If wife fears
Cruelty or desertion
On her husband’s part,
There is no blame on them
If they arrange
An amicable settlement
Between themselves.
And such settlement is best;
Even though men’s souls
Are swayed by greed
But if ye do good
And practice self-restraint
God is well-acquainted
With all that ye do 04:128
What if the settlement is not amicable?
If ye fear breach
Between them to vain,
Appoint (two) arbitrators
One from his family
And other from hers,
If they wish peace
God will cause
Their reconciliation
or God hath full knowledge
And is acquainted
With all things 04:35
Comment: Equal representation for both.
One more chance for reconciliation?
Thus when they fulfil
Their term appointed
Either take them back
On equitable terms
Or part with them
On equitable terms;
And take for witness
Two person from among you
Endued with justice
And establish the evidence
(As) before God. Such
Is the admonition given
To him who believes
In God and the Last day
And for those who fear
God, He (ever) prepares
A way out. 65:02
Comment: Once divorce is declared twice, the woman has to spend a period of three months in Iddat (seclusion). At the end of the period, differences can be reconciled. If not then witnesses have to present and evidence has to be established as to why the husband or wife is going through with the third and final divorce.
So what happens after divorce?
Let women live
(In iddat) in the same
Style that ye live
According to your means
(man is responsible financially for wife during iddat period)
Annoy them no so as
To restrict them
(When woman is in iddat(seclusion), husband is not supposed to nag or be sarcastic to the wife)
And if they carry (life
In their wombs), then
Spend (your substance) on them
Until they deliver
Their burden……….
(Husband is responsible financially during pregnancy for women substance, and all medical expenses)
………….and if
They suckle your (offspring)
Give them their recompense
(Often the child is born and the mother is feeding, then again the husband is financially responsible for all expenses)
And take mutual counsel
Together, according to
What is just and reasonable
(It is not just up to the man to estimate the living expenses, he has to consult the woman about her needs)
And if ye find yourselves
In difficulties, let another
Woman suckle (the child)
On the (father’s) behalf 65:06
(If for some reason the mother is not able to feed the child, it’s father’s responsibility to arrange for a woman or make some alternate arrangement for the child on his expense)
Comment: See how as soon as the divorce process begins, the man not the woman, becomes financially responsible for everything. Now the question arises if the woman is not pregnant, does the financial commitment of the man end after iddat? Lets see what the Qur’an says.
Does Muslim wife have the right to receive alimony?
For divorced women
Maintenance (should be provided)
On a reasonable (scale)
This is the duty
On the righteous 02:241
Comment: Allah Akbar. It took western women more than two thousand years to get their rights after divorce recognized. What a gift Allah gave to believing women more than 1400 years ago.
If readers remember, I started this topic by proving that the Qur’an was a living miracle. The text of the Qur’an is the same as it was 1400 years ago, but as awareness has grown so has the meaning of the Divine Text. It has grown to cater the needs of the women today, this is the miracle of the Qur’an. In christian world where only few years back money get this right but look what she lost in return, look around in christian world and proof is on every step you take, from degrading of women to sexual object, to disintegration of families, to mutilation of institution of marraige, to incest of childern, this I have put in very very mild wordsm but I had gone in to gory picture of what is happening in christian world, humanity would be ashamed of these champions of human rights.
Here the question arises, who will decide the amount of alimony? In previous verses that I have mentioned, this has already been decided.
1. An amicable settlement
Between themselves
And such settlement is best; 04:128
2. Appoint (two) arbitrators
One from his family
And other from hers, 04:35
3. And take mutual counsel
Together according to
What is just and reasonable. 65:06
Child Support?
Comment: I must remind all, that under Islamic law, in case of divorce the children are awarded to the father. This may seem harsh initially, but it is meant to liberate women from the emotional and financial toll.
Let the man of means
Spend according to
His means: and the man
Whose resources are restricted
Let him spend according
To what God has given him.
God put no burden
On any person beyond
What He has given him.
After a difficulty, God
Will soon grant relief. 65:07
As in the above comment- In Islam the father is responsible for his offspring. In most cases the father is not able to raise the children. It might be that after the divorce he has decided to get remarried and in most of the cases a women does not want to raise the children of another woman. Also in nature, maternal instinct is stronger than paternal, so the children usually end up with the mother.
The beauty of the thing is that as the fathers are not emotionally equipped to raise children, but the matter has been decided and the children are awarded to him. If he hands the children to the mother, willingly, he is still responsible for the expenses as decreed by Allah. Thus Child Support.
I do not have any intention to offend anyone. If I did, I apologize and ask forgiveness from Allah.
I ASK FOR FORGIVENESS FROM Allah FOR ANY WRONG INTERPRETATIONS OF VERSES INTENTIONAL OR UNINTENTIONAL.