ArchivedRelationships, of various sorts.Julie, Right. But to me, a relationship involves two-way communication. I guess if you count praying as your side, and reading the Bible as His... If I could <I>hear</I> any knocking, I might believe there was a door to open... although I still wouldn't know how. Hey, we're actually on the same page! Cool. Now, since we're using the same definitions, I can say... I'm not interested in pursuing whatever lust I may feel. If I'm not interested in someone for more reasons than sexual attraction, then I'm not really interested, period. I think the chance of lasting love is worth the risk of heartbreak. I think sex without love, without a real relationship, isn't anywhere near worth it. There are gay people who would disagree with this. There are also gay people who would agree, and straight people who would disagree. I really don't think you can draw a line between "gay" and "straight" and say "these people over here must be confusing lust with love." Well... I'm glad. I think so, too. But I think the "wiring" in question is (metaphorically) this little dial labelled: "Which sex do I find attractive?" By default, it's supposed to be cranked to "female" for males and "male" for females. Sometimes it gets set wrong... but that doesn't mean that our relationships end up working much differently, or that we're doomed to be pushed apart like magnets facing the wrong way. As long as two people are attracted to each other, why would their respective sexes have anything to do with their chance at a successful relationship? I'm going to let you in on a secret: <I>There is no homosexual lifestyle.</I> Seriously... it's just a catchphrase. There isn't really a single "lifestyle" all gay people lead, no more than there is a "heterosexual lifestyle." I know two people in an "open marriage." They're straight. They've been together longer than I've been alive, I think -- they're old friends of my mom's. They're very sweet together. They date other people. I'm not sure what the details of their arrangement are, but I know they're above-board about it. It seems to work for them. Why are they married? Because they love each other, because they're best friends, because they want to spend the rest of their lives together. Or so I would assume, from the way they live. Why do they have extramarital relationships? Well, I've never asked them, but my guess would be: Because they're sometimes attracted to other people who are also attracted to them, and because they're not jealous of each other, not afraid of losing their relationship just because it isn't exclusive. I don't know if that sort of relationship would work for everyone. I think it's an possibility worth thinking about, especially since so many marriages break up over someone "cheating." Now, maybe it's usually a sign that they no longer love their spouse... but since a lot of people cheat and <I>stay</I> married, I'm not so sure. I don't think people are monogamous by nature. We're "wired" to pair-bond, yes, but it doesn't stop us from being attracted to people outside of that bond, too. Now, what's natural doesn't imply anything about what's moral... but if everyone involved knows what's going on, I don't see why "fidelity" has to mean exclusivity. Yes, you have... well, depending on your definition of "met." Courting? I seem to recall something about the Christian alternative to dating... aside from stuffing people firmly back into gender roles, it didn't seem much different. I've mentioned that gay people date, haven't I? If I knew who you were talking about and what they were doing, I might have an answer for you. You might want to start a separate thread. |
🌈Pride🌈 goeth before Destruction
When 🌈Pride🌈 cometh, then cometh Shame