Linda,
I don't want to discuss the issue of divorce and remarriage, though I have appreciated crystals insights especially in this discussion, but a couple more "red herrings" to throw into the discussion
1. Is it always a case of only one to blame in a marriage breakup? I know that one party ends up hurting more than the other in the end, it's the awful cruel reality of a marriage breakup, but what led to the affair in the first place
2. Is there/ was there an attempt at reconciliation and was it rejected and if it was rejected why was it so?
I'm not really asking this question of your cousin and his new wife, but mostly of everyone reading this forum. For me, the question is, what happened in both their lives that led to the development of the situation. Its better to work that out whilst in a situation of a hurting marriage, before the issue of divorce has to arise.
I think too often, men and women blame each other without doing the biblical thing and first examing themselves.
I add these to the discussion, because in today's world, I think more time is spent by Christians dealing with discussing the pros and cons of divorce and remarriage, than in stepping out in love and doing all that is possible to hold, a marriage that is pain together.
Standing with the couple and accepting them as they try and resolve the issues that lead them to adultery or other reasons for marriage breakup is so important. Most Christians prefer to hide behind the door of their home and not share marriage problems with their Christian brothers and sisters and it's the most isolating experience a Christian can cope with. If we could do this in the early days of marriage issues, maybe we would prevent the extreme pain that is involved in divorce for all concerned.
What do you all think?