Chrysoprasus and Everett: Let me clarify my position, then. Of course, the semantics of “sex vs. marriage” could be discussed incessantly and Pharisaically, but hopefully not as that’s not my intention… and no, I don’t believe that I’m as confused about marriage as you seem to believe that I am, Everett... however, I suppose it's possible...
I believe there is a difference between the physical act of a sexual union between any two individuals (for whatever reason) and a sexual union between a husband (male) and a wife (female) for the reasons stated hereinafter.
I believe that God truly and originally intended (and still intends) marriage to be between one man and one woman, both initially virgins, who wish(ed) to become as husband and wife… and to live within a monogamous covenant bond of marriage… hence: “married in the eyes of God”.
I believe that they, themselves, originally intended that commitment to one another for a lifetime (hopefully)… that the marriage was consummated with sexual union between virgins… further, that the sexual union be entered into for the purposes of procreation and also as an enjoyable expression of love for one another… and, yes, a gift of God.
I believe that OT marriages were valid and were recognized as such and that they can and may actually still occur today… with NO other required ceremony of “man” necessary other than the intent of the heart and the subsequent consummation of the marriage with a sexual union of the virgin man and a virgin woman… “sealed”… with God as witness…
I also believe that there are only certain Biblical allowances/conditions for divorce and/or remarriage… and trying to avoid legalism, by that I mean: not necessarily accommodating every want, desire, or whim of humanity… that divorce/remarriage be in accord and harmony with Scripture… unfortunately, humankind gets in the way.
The Bible recognizes many forms of sexual immorality… adultery, fornication, incest, rape, homosexuality, prostitution… I don’t those sexual acts are considered as within the covenant of marriage… nor do I believe God to have looked favorably upon them… but sexual union within a monogamous marriage – yes!!!
Chrsy… as for your scenario of rape… as I understand it, Mosaic law mandated such a resulting course of action, so agreed...
But what of a man raping a woman married or engaged/betrothed to another man??? The law required death of the man for raping a betrothed damsel… therefore, the rapist and the betrothed weren’t married in the eyes of God.
What of David’s adultery with Bathsheba??? I seem to remember God didn’t look upon that very favorably.
What of Jesus’ words in Luke 16:18 or John 4:18??? Jesus “shattered” the “definition” of adultery by including the thought… the mere desire or condition of the heart. RE: Matt. 5:27-28, Matt. 15:19.
Paul wrote of all those things, as well.
I believe God has made His will regarding sex pretty clear in the Scriptures and I prefer to believe the Word of God rather than liberal theologies or doctrines of men intended to sooth itching ears... and trying not to conform to the world as is a prevalent attitude in today’s society (not inferring/implying anything regarding either of you, so please don’t take it as such), but I believe that sex outside of a marriage that is not in harmony with the Scriptures is sin as revealed in the Scriptures… to me “sex” is not all “married in the eyes of God”… a great deal of it goes to sexual immorality and is spoken of in Scripture from Genesis to Revelation!!!
I hope I’ve clarified my position on the matter unargumentatively without being too redundant or legalistic.